Saturday, August 2, 2014

Belle of the Bathroom

I sat and pondered while I took a squat
The grimy shithole which I was atop
Dirty stains and toilet tears
                          Deplorable[, more than I could bear

I took off my pink topless dress
cause this hellhole, surely I’d be a mess
Filth and stink, dust and grime
Damn, I wish this place weren't mine

Grab me the bleach, the scrub brush too
Bathroom bubbles work, tell that tub “fuck you”
No fairy godmother to wave her magic wand
  This place smells quite fishy, just like a coy pond

Is it a gay man or a lesbo lives here?
I really thought that homos were cleanly queer
A reality show I should totally make
Queer Eye Bathroom Overtake

Spit and shine, rub and dub
If you’re lucky, you’ll get blown in the tub
 As long as it’s clean, use that elbow grease
Clean it up quite nice, dirty me down please

Belle found her mate, bell of the bathroom balls
Lucky, he’s short, not nearly quite that tall

My mop and broom stand much taller,
This midget is quaint, but his dick a little smaller
Lucky for me, cleanings my vice
No diamond ring for this bitch, much to much

                          My wedding dress an outfit of maid
Our registry will make me quite the ole maid
 Spit polish my tux with scotch guard plus
Iron his socks and pleat with no fuss

   Damn my luck, look at this  befuddled betwixt
When all I was doing was taking a shit
I’m married and cleaning for this my man
All because I was sitting on the can.